Once Upon a Time
by NotMarge
Summary: Meredith Grey drinks her coffee and looks back.


I do not own Grey's Anatomy.

Once Upon a Time

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Meredith Grey sipped her coffee and looked out over the early morning vista of her hilltop home. It was beautiful. The coffee, that was. And the view from her grand front window wasn't too bad either. She smiled at it all.

Things hadn't always been this way. For years she had lived in a fog of misery, depression, and circumvention. She had avoided deep human connection as much as possible. And of course she would. Being the daughter of Ellis Grey would make anyone turn away from humanity. So cold, so uncaring toward her daughter who was so unimportant next to career, next to her life. Always so unimportant.

Unless of course some wrist slicing crisis forced her to be important. If only to be a young, frightened, manipulated witness to the whole monstrosity.

A cloud of disdain floated through her still waking mind. She watched it pass, her eyes narrowed distrustfully to slits until it was gone. Once upon a time, she would have caught it in her net of victimized woe and ruminated upon it all day. And all night. And all day.

Ruminated upon the horror of it and so many other crazy things her mother had done before her very eyes. Now it only strengthened her resolve to be a better mother. To be the mother she had never had. To be a mother her children could be proud of because she was good to them. Not just because she was a good surgeon.

Her little children. Zola and Bailey. They would be waking up soon. She would peek in on them while they slept. She wanted to see them in those small, quiet moments before the day began.

Meredith Grey once shunned everyone for more than a casual connection. When she first started on at the hospital all those years ago, she had tall, strong, castle walls built around herself. Against everyone.

Men. Good for a one night stand. For nocturnal lighting purposes. Women. A shallow conversation. Share a bag of chips.

Nothing more.

And now she was happily (well mostly happily) married to Derek Shepard. Derek Shepard, a ground-breaking genius of a neurosurgeon. Derek Shepard, the man who still made her shiver in his arms. Derek Shepard, a good father except for when he pawned off his children to a most trusted friend and then forgot to tell her where he put them. Derek Shepard, who never remembered to leave the lid down.

Once upon a time, she'd never imagined having such faith, such connection, such solidarity with another person. Much less a man. Men had always been so expendable. Even her father. He had been the one to teach her first just how expendable everyone really was, especially men.

But now it was all different. Though they fought, argued, huffed and puffed at each other, they still stuck together. All of them.

She had an entire extended family for support, for connection.

And it hadn't happened in the blink of an eye either. It had taken a long time for all of this to come to pass. Through misery and heartache, failures and successes, confusion and loss. Determination and willpower. Years and years and years.

And she had a feeling it still wasn't over. She had a feeling there was still a long road ahead. She just didn't know what lay at the end of it.

But she knew the ones who were here now. And ones who had been before.

And she loved taking it completely for granted. Because that meant that they were choosing to be here now. That they had chosen to be there then. That meant that it was something she could believe in, something she could trust.

And that was much better than once upon a time.

Now not only was there Derek, there was Richard Webber. Which was a real accomplishment, considering his relationship with her mother was the catalyst that had broken up the family. Along with the fact that her mother was an almost completely soulless creature.

And there was even Alex. Once upon a time, he was the guy who would just never leave. A roommate's boyfriend. A doctor with a rough edge and an ugly temper. But inside, he was just another lost little kid. So he became almost a younger brother to her. A younger brother who really needed a good spanking every once in a while.

Callie and Arizona. Those two brilliant passionate lesbians who fought all over the hospital and sometimes both of their houses who seemed to never agree on anything for long. When they were happy, they exuded it all over the world they occupied. When they were sad, the storm clouds would gather, warning everyone to duck and run for cover.

Owen Hunt who tried so hard with everything he did. You just thought he would roll over and die from all the stress of trying so hard. And Miranda Bailey was just the same.

All those who had come and gone. All those who had lived and died. All those now lost. All of them occupied a little spot of memories, a little spot of remembrance.

And of course there was her.

Cristina Yang. A brilliant surgeon, an unstoppable force. She who Meredith would sometimes move heaven and earth for and who Meredith sometimes could not stand the sight of.

Cristina. Cristina who sometimes asked her to stay and keep her company through long, still watches of the night. Cristina who sometimes shut her and everyone else out completely.

Cristina who just might be more similar to Ellis Grey than anyone else Meredith had ever known. Except Cristina Yang had proven on several occasions that she was unwilling to allow a child to hinder her pursuit of medical perfectionism.

And Meredith had to give her credit where credit was due. It was better to not have children at all than to treat them the way her mother had.

She glanced away from her vista filled, coffee-driven machinations and at the clock on the counter.

Time to go.

Peek in on her sleeping children. Casually toss off her robe in front of her sleepy husband. Watch his hungry eyes travel across her body while she smirked at him with her raised eyebrow, stroll into the bathroom alone, and lock the door behind her.

It's a beautiful day to save lives, Dr. Derek Shepard had once said. Let's have some fun.

_Yes, yes, it is. Okay, let's do it._

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**It took me a long time to warm up to Meredith's character. But now I think she is the one who has evolved the most in the course of this show. It's a very encouraging thing to see.**

**Thanks to my guest reviewer for your kindness. :)**

**Thanks to disneyhptwilightlover14, Kblasek31, and PepperAnn11 for giving your support to this short story as well.**

**Everyone appreciates feedback. Leave a review if you like.**


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